Then 2 weeks later he popped up on my Whatsapp acting coy as he saw my number but didnt recall how we met. So he apologized and decided to call. Next! When I got home he texted to make sure I got home. It felt like a game or maybe Id pushed him too much, but I told him I didnt think it was going to work out because I was looking for a relationship and not just endless texting. Non-verbal . He is very nice and we have met once for lunch I didnt hear from him for 3 days then randomly get Hi how are you? I dont feel that is the case anymore, nor did i deep down. I know guys arent big texters, but I dont think its asking too much for a Good Morning text or ANYTHING before 7:30 in the evening. He responded and said that he thought I lost interest. Even though having perused his FB I realised he wasnt much into it. Hes kinda country and so am I, not that that means anything haha Thx , Well, the time has come and gone. So, in the future do not spend 3 months of your life texting and talking on the phone before you actually meet someone. He says that he has talked to her about me and he has told me that his wife died for a year ago with cancer. Again, in person in front of a tour group and AGAIN in front of another tour group with a GIFT (something very thoughtful that only he knew about). So I met a man online, within the first 2 days of messaging he suggested we meet up in the coming days. Bp, Hi l hve been seeing someone whom l text briefly to arrange our dating time, place and whether it is dinner out or relaxing. Hugs, Bp. At first it wasnt serious, it was just a flirty but appropriate type of conversation. Hes been texting everyday since Fri. I wont even let him touch certain body parts, i told him he needs to earn it. We have talked about meeting each other in person and have set up a date but he had to cancel because of work ( it wasnt a last minute cancel). We had a phenomenal time at a winery together. He responded decently a half an hour, a few hours, later the next day. I had been hooking up with this guy for 2 months. He said he didnt mean we sleep together, sorry he made a mistake and wished me well. Chad, it sounds like she isnt comfortable spending time alone with you yet. We swapped numbers and have been texting pretty much everyday since then. I met this guy on match.com. Ps I think he could be the real deal too -exciting! Keep your Grownup in charge. Bp. what a game changer compared to dating 15 years ago! Weve been texting for a month now and we say we are going to call each other but we havent yet. Still waiting for his text though, Im sure Julie you jumped the gun and by now, he has already texted you back. He has two kids by the way. When we were dating I thought that I made some mistakes like keep asking him What are we? , asked about his ex I tried to let him know in a subtle way that I was not receiving his advances but he chose not to heed my hints. He told me we will do this again soon. I told him I was unavailable due to xmas eve. how to feel after reading the text article. I've heard enough . I started chatting to a guy on a dating site about a 6 weeks ago, he first messaged just to say he liked my profile and my pix but knew he didnt stand a chance because we live different ends of the country and hes a single dad. When you stop texting to see what he does, you have nothing to lose. Only much later it turned out it was for 5 weeks. I also dont want to lose my friend relationship with him if we do not end up a couple. If you didn't make it abundantly clear then he is much more likely to disappear. Im not bitter, but a lot of men today have as much or more baggage than many women and dont deal with it. Actually I have met a guy from online and were chatting for like 7 months. He had chances to be really happy and lost it ONLY because of kids dilemma. I dont love him ( but I would)I love energy comes from him when I get close. Please reread the article. On the other hand, I think its great that youre going to talk with him further to learn more. I decided before taking this plunge with the current guy, if Im making the right decision? Its simply how he prefers to communicate with you. Bp. He said he would try to get work off. What do you know, a week later, he accused me of feeling more for him than him feeling for me?! Believe me, Ive seen the ones that work . Are this normal? So weird. I have someone I have been seeing and he has been travelling a ton. Im confused as to whether he is serious about me or just wants to hook up for a while. You have no idea whats going on in his life. However from what I know about men, he WAS telling you the truth. Finally, I had to initiate the meeting and decide what day and time because he said he didnt like planning dates/hang outs. But seriously, just tell him that youre looking forward to getting to know him. Also, I did tell him up front what I was looking for at this age and that I want to have someone in my life. We were fighting all the time and I wanted to get help and counseling and he refused. Less is more in the text world. He then goes on and says that he is thinking about me and I just adore him, but he says that he is shy and wont send me any updated picture of his face at all. I took your test and the result I got is that Im a bitter woman. I told him I was at the beach and where is my invite? He may like you, but not truly not have time. Im grateful for the lesson, even though my heart is hurt, because I know now the red flags of emotional immaturity. I dont want to put in the time if its just gonna be for nothing. If youre looking for relationship, run for the hills! Then after a couple of weeks, poof, they are gone. Your reply would be greatly appreciated. He was my surgeon, so we met in a professional relation (not good). I said sounds good. I really enjoyed chatting with him. Then nothing for two days then a call to say he was on a long distance haul with work he drives a delivery van he said he was thinking about coming to see me when he got back but it would be too late that night 9.30 or 10pm and he was exhausted. IF you've only been texting each other you'll find that bond is never really created no matter what he says or how he says it. I just see guys the text alot as weak. Kids are a no go for me. Here is an article I wrote that should help. He flirts with me like sends hearts, calls me love, and talks about the past when we were younger in school. However, I know that I want more. We agreed to a 2nd date two weeks ago and have spoke about it but he couldnt give me a date he is coming over. He was still adamant that we be only friends or do the casual thing. Only he never mentioned or asked to meet again. In the meantime move on with your life and dont fall into the trap of thinking texting is dating. He shows great interest in getting to know me and tries to impress me with his little things (as guys normally do). Ask if hes open to that. I love this analogy of the trunk. And read this article: THNKS, Hi Sallie. That required cleaning my shit up literally and figuratively. As I said, texting is not dating. He has been patient and understands about my situation. Weve all been there. Then, that you were kidding about the missing thingand you assume he is to, right? Hugs, Bp. Dont know what Id label him, Kellie, but if he cant be okay with the way you live, then hes just not for you. Enjoy!! If youre not getting to know real things about him then start sharing about yourself. Something like this. Text later or wait for him to message me, Met a guy on match.com. He does little things to try to make you happy. Again, when a man is into you AND hes looking for the Real Dealhe will move mountains to be with you. I kept sending a message per week. Then Xmas, etc. And I love your idea about using it for flirting, encouraging, etc. It seems needy and sometimes it can annoy the guy even more because they might just need some space from the constant texting. (OK) (I have an opinion about this answer, haha). Met a guy dancing. I dont know if he is continuing the joke or actually asking and I dont know how to approach it to ask. So we met up for coffee one evening and talked for hours. We had tons of fun and he texted me this morning with: Super fun to see you last night, lisa you are good company! (Certainly not him, yet.) I just let him be, I cannot hinge my life on his indecisiveness. He steps up by calling and settings up dates. Just text him. I hope you dont waste your time like this again. Sorry for that but happens to most of us at some time(s) or another. You just met! You are everything and I need and more I love you.-I would really love to get some advice from you. Youre Not Attracting A Better Man Than Her! Only you can decide that but If a guy truly is busy and he contacts you Regularly when he can, Youre going to chase him away by expecting too much too soon. Does that actually mean anything or should I just not read into it? It feels real. He moved away to go to attend some schooling and I did not see him very much during that time. Kind of realizing that we will never meet, because while the conversation is great, the connection is there, he might be a texter. If he does, great. please tell me somethings. Now he has been back for over a year since he is now attending a closer college. They do not act like men. We meet and it goes well. I think youre great but cant seem to go all in with you. The guy is not a grownup man looking for a relationship. He found me through social media. Hi, I really like your post. Hi over 50 female met someone over 40 online. Also for the years I have been texting him, he has been single. And perhaps he, too, is texting friends? I like to keep this dating game with him but am I missing something? But I had the impression it wasnt as it was before he left. Im here to tell you its all worth it. I then gave up on him as it seemed he wasnt that into me. Hi Susan. Let me show you the right way because if you do it wrong, there may be no turning back the clock. Hi Rachel, Nah, its not you. Therefore, if you are getting texts from a guy every day, it must have a meaning. And he never calls me too! The date itself went great, and she texted after saying she had a great time, but hasnt been returning texts or Snapchats much since. I said Im a lady and that we hadnt met. Its like were good friends, and never get tired of talking to each other. But that is pattern. He doesnt call, just text. And yeah and he still the same he said he loves me but its hard to believe knowing him he been through a lot of relationship. No, I doubt its going anywhere, Adriana. Youre seeing flags, though, and its important that youre aware like that. And dont like the way he canceled the supposed date. so for the nest 4 days I sent message after message asking why he had disappeared, whats going on, that I wasnt upset about him spending time with his daughter, little relationship quotes, telling him I miss him. I thought it was strange and friended him on Facebook and he actually blocked me. He calls me with endearments and sometimes talk like we are in a relationship. Im truly not sure if we will hit it off. I think i need to let it out. We spent the night together. My sister tells me I am to naive which I am. I am dating a man who lives in a town 4hours away. Please help!! All this said, however, I agree 100% that hes a dunce. We text everyday and we talk on the phone everyday. I said ok. Two more days of good morning and good night then I get a text saying he wants to be honest and respectful. I doubt it was fake unless he was just using you for casual sex which unfortunately is possibility here because to go from where you were to where you are now sounds like a classic player move. Jennifer, I have to be honest: I did not read your entire comment. | No reproductions or copying without credit or permission. I had an old friend from 38 years ago message me on Facebook. Definitely felt good about her and would love to see where it goes if anywhere but kind of lost right now after her text message. You could be missing some guys with great partner potential albeit poor writing skills. Thanks. But he insisted on seeing me again, he asked for my number and we started texting. A few days later there is no mention of meeting up even though ive hinted at it. But he didnt even give me a call we are just texting. I sent him a Facebook message. I dont suffer fools and I prefer conversation to text messages. I told him that I prefer Skype and now we do Skype more and are asking the important questions but also with jokes! Hes either just being a flake or chickening out. Bp. Take this time and get help if you need to. I never liked it too much it has no face. Thank you! Ive suggested that Id love to get to know him beyond the texting. Well, after in text he said he had a good time and would hang out again, but couldnt see it working. He gave a full paragraph listing why which was basically what we had in common. I think you know the answer. Take care of yourself. Then his messages drop off a little and after I returned from travelling away I said I hoped to meet him that weekend. That didnt sound so great to me, so of course I googled what men really mean when they say that, and well, according to what I read, I should probably never count on hearing from this guy again! Move on. Just let them know thats what you prefer, and that you hope that works for them. hmmm. Anita Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple's Guide to Lasting Love, Brenda Della Casa, relationship coach and author of Cinderella Was a Liar, Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, Maria Avgitidis, CEO of matchmaking service Agape Match and host of the dating podcast Ask A Matchmaker. Let him know youre interested and give him the chance to say yes. If he doesnt,move on, ok? Sorry Sherri, but I just cant read and respond to such a lengthy ask. Last week, I sent him a text to see if that was him who honked at me when I ran. Next!! I know my advice is for women but almost 100% of it applies to you too. But what was this really telling me? I dont want a relationship or anything like that. I brought it up to him and told him it makes me feel like hes not interested, so he said that he is not a big phone person and that he would work on it. The next day after our final, I expressed to her how I felt and how I like her not just her external looks but her good heart, morals, and so on. I met a guy online and the first 2 days we hit it off with texts. Our first date lasted 8 hours and was amazing. of course I cant know anything for sure but I do know people personally who are on the front lines (EMTs and Drs) who will not stay with their families for fear of infecting them. Then ten days later he sends me messages apologising for dropping off the Face of the earth and that he has had a few dates with someone else and wanted to update me and could we still be friends. He went on a fishing trip with friends for 4 days this last weekend, and he randomly texted. After 2 weeks on the app he finally moved it to fb messenger. Be self-sufficient. These are all totally reasonable reasons why they can't reply as quickly or as eloquently as they have in the past. After about 1.5 weeks after the video call he suddenly asked if I would like to have a phone call with him the next day. How about no texting at all? Talk about common interests. Hugs, Bp. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is not the best approach when you are trying to develop a relationship with a man. That will always come first. If you don't hear back, move on. Long story short, he called it off as I wanted more than dinner drinks and a shag which was all I required at the time as was going through divorce. Any help would be greatly appreciated to put my mind at ease that Im reading too much into this. When you ask, "If he texts me every day, does he like me?" that's your tip-off something isn't going right. Then he txt and said what about this Tuesday then, if not then after the holidays? After then he texted me everyday and he asked me on a date, which we actually had and apparently we both had a great time. He has dated someone seriously enough to introduce to his kids, I have not. At the end of the day he just dont do actions I would expect him to do regarding helping me. I met a lovely guy before lockdown. At what point do I assume shes maybe not interested in going out again but too nice to say so? Hugs. Bp, What about scammers? However, he has been texting me daily for the past 1.5 years.. Is he stringing me along or is he really shy? We have seen each other once since the first message and he called to come to see me one other time but I had plans already. Doesnt matter WHY hes behaving this way; only that he is. Yes, you are overthinking and over-expecting. He wouldnt approach (but talks to everyone else). Sign in below with your name and best email: Subscribe With Confidence -No Spam Email Policies, I have enjoyed reading your words and found them very helpful in finding myself with guys. We havent met since were miles apart but have made plans to meet once travelling was okay for both of us. That's a HUGE excuse to keep you at arm's length. You are in a tough situation and waiting for some man to save you ultimately wont serve you. Everyone I spoke these days did. He used to respond to all your texts, but now he replies only a couple times a week. I have pulled back from texts and he has started to step up. Sure, its a possibility, dont leap to that conclusion right away, advises Chlipala. Hi June. Fully understand that texting doth not a relationship make. What I recommend is that you try your best to limit texting until youve had at least a couple live dates and youve gotten to know some important things about him. The last text was very short. If hes serious about getting his act together he will. Weve had phone & video calls as well. But recently, his messages take very long to reply. Welcome! Im fine with that, we both lead busy lives and Im not wanting to rush into a full on relationship but at the same time I want to know Im in it with someone who wants to be in it with me for the right reasons. Maybe most but I certainly do not want to talk on a phone. I also agree with #4. I just received a text message from him saying Hey, how have you been?. 2 months later, he sends a text saying I ran in front of his house. Every day conversation continues with good Morning, have a great day for two weeks it seems. First, youre an adult. Would really love your input on the matter. We kissed passionately and I felt something there. Have an adult conversation with him to ck if youre wanting the same things. I asked him to go out as I expetced him to be back soon. Weve only been dating for 21 days :/, Amelia, I dont know what he means by calling you beautiful. Your beginning and end are all I need. But I havent seen him since our date and its been 2 weeks. Im sorry to say but I think youre in love with a fantasy. Next morning I saw his texts about do I like chocolate and what kind of flowers and where to meet and I replied. And the opposite happens too. But, we reconnected last week and I reconsidered. Hes 4 hours away and comes to town every 2nd weekend to spend with his kids. I stopped texting him for one week coz i didnt want to disturb his family times and he reached out to me later But just before he moved to another country for diplomatic, he changed not texting me a lot or he sounded just a normal friend. Dont waste time texting. If you read this post I think you know exactly how to feel , Olive. We texted for three more days on and off all day again, getting more personal and joking about things that happened on the weekend, then its like he vanished, I havent heard back in a couple days. Decide whether you want to get to know him better. 555-1212., Thanks for getting in touch. "Ideally your partner will let you know that they are busy and it has nothing to do with you, adds Chlipala. Does he ultimately want the same thing(s) in life than you? Sounds kinda nice to me. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Hi and I noticed he updated his dating profiles (we arent exclusive yet). Thank you four your help. I text him every day and he usually reply after his work or the next day.