1. "Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. How many does he do?, Man: Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass.. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a468f26f096b5aaed8fdef8efc580f6f" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact a 7-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. Would you like to see my Slazenger along with my freshly cleaned balls?
In your approach to golf, no one can tell you what to do. He was perfecting his swing.
69 Best Dirty Quotes For Him | Her | Kinky | Funny | Sayings - TryTutorial Golfs three ugliest words: Still your shot. Dave Marr, 36. "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.". One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. Nothing. If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot. Which is the easiest golf stroke? Tiger Woods can drive a ball three hundred yards! I chipped in from the rough! A bad hole wont get you a slap across the face when you play golf. 19th Hole Bonus Quote: While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. It will test your patience. I never learned anything from a match that I won. Bobby Jones, 62. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. Whos there? I'm a bit tired so how about we just play your backside tonight? You've got the nicest boobs I've seen outside a PGA Tour locker room. How the heck did that happen? O'Grady's comment relates the essence of the experience of a lot of rounds of golf for a lot of golfers. Many of them contain words and phrases that are unable to grace this slideshow. When your golf cart capsizes. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. "If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.". Are you a water hazard? Whats the best quality in a golf partner? As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. The true funniest golf quotes of all time are likely never put to paper and aren't spoken by golfers or celebrities. Would you mind being treated like a green that I'm 140 yards away from, holding my pitching wedge with very little wind in any direction? Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. Golf tips are like Aspirin: One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle youll be lucky to survive. Harvey Penick, 17. The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes. -Lee Trevino She makes sure he practices having a stroke first to make sure he's handicapped when he meets a blond working at one. They say golf is like life, but dont believe them. I like to go low. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Full Text: And yet another day has passed and I did not use algebra once. If everything was given to you, it wouldnt feel as good when you achieve it. Annika Sorenstam, 24. Ben Hogan, I dont play golf to feel bad, I play bad golf, but I feel good. I prayed that I would react well if I missed. Chi Chi Rodriguez, 44. Short Golf Jokes & Puns 1. I'm hoping to be a sore loser." Related: Best Ways On How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text? Why do golfers carry a spare pair of golf shorts? 20. Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver! Go to the golf course. By stragetically placing fire hydrants. Dec 10, 2020 - Explore Shelby Clark's board "Dirty Golf" on Pinterest. I have 17 wives, one more and I will have a golf course!. Tahiti hole in one, you need to hit the golf ball straight. "The value of routine; trusting your swing." - Lorii Myers. Knock, knock I've been playing golf all day and would love to make you my 19th hoe. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. 23+ Revolutionary Sayings From Corrie Ten Boom | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 52+ Knowledgeable Sayings On Cosmetologist | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 43+ Motivating Sayings On Hungry | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, TOP 50 Inspirational Golf Quotes & Sayings | Download Images, 58+ Funny Tennis Quotes | Free Images & Pictures Download, TOP 50 Funny Sports Quotes | HD Images & Pictures Download. The greatest single lesson to be learned from golf is mental discipline. Louise Suggs, 51. 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. 21. I figured my local caddy knew this course a whole lot better than me, so I just put my hand out and played whatever club he put in it. SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? Lorii Myers, Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. Which pro golfers can jump higher than the flag?
Best Funny Golf Memes and Pictures in 2023 - MemesBams Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work. Jack Nicklaus, 3. See you in the Email! For you only, all the funny golf quotes images have been created that you are going to explore now. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain, the famous wordsmith who also said golf is a good walk spoiled. Don't dirt your soul. P-U-T means to place a thing where you want it. The friend is quite amazed: That dog is really talented! Dirty Golf Pick Up Lines; Dirty Music Pick Up Lines; Dirty Holiday Pick Up Lines; Hi there! happen again! 2. Pretty is as pretty does. Harvey Penick, 61. Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. Dont even putt. Dean Martin, need we say more? Concentrate on the one fault you want to overcome. Sam Snead, 55. "Golf is like a love affair. 8. I have 10 sons, one more and I will have my own football team., To which the Mormon replies, You fellas aint got a clue. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, Of course. To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. Or under. As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. Ben Hogan, 25. Fear comes in two packages fear of failure, and sometimes, fear of success. Tom Kite, 21. Because it would interrupt their tea time. Lorii Myers, Perhaps more than any other sport, golf focuses pressure on the player. 3. Jay Griffiths, Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. What do you call Jessica Alba joining you and your buddies for a round of golf? Ive played the game for 50 years and I still havent the slightest idea of how to play. Gary Player, 39. 4. Ian Fleming, I drove a golf ball into the air / It fell to earth, I knew not where / For, so swiftly it flew, the sight / Could not follow it in its flight. You "Putt" Me In A Great Mood. Figure out your weakness and dont make it your weakness anymore. Stacy Lewis, 60. The little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. Tiagra. "We learn so many things from golfhow to suffer, for instance." Lansky's quote is funny because, well, as golfers we're all a little bit masochistic. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges Full Text: Please do not drop your cigarette butts on the ground. They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Raymond Floyd. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions. He couldnt stop puttzing around! A man got on a bus with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); -Bobby Jones Geoff Shackelford, Golf sits in that beautiful junction between perfection and frustration. Make your partner smile with these adult golf jokes. I like big putts and I cannot lie. Wanna be my caddy? The most important shot in golf is the next one. Ben Hogan, 56. It bends a little to the left. The end. nay I my child, and eke, oh! So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. I've got some good news. P. G. Wodehouse, The difference between a good golf shot and a bad one is the same as the difference between a beautiful and a plain woman a matter of millimeters. Why not! Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." What's the difference between a golf ball and a car? Andy.
45 Dirty Jokes To Make You Laugh - PsyCat Games 1. Thats incredible. Whats a golfers favorite nightlife activity?
Dirty Quotes For Women Golfers. QuotesGram Intercourse! 2. One fine day, John and Don are out golfing when John slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. Funny and dirty medical pick-up lines and doctor hook-up lines. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants. Hey, were you just promoted from Army captain because I'm always up for getting another major? when we were married," said the pouting wife. Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented. Arnold Palmer, 2. THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. 2023 DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes, 17 Awful (But Mostly Funny) Golf Fails from 2013, This new Top Flite commercial is sophomoric, inappropriate, and very funny. 1. Basketball is a sport for black men. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? You may have heard these renowned quotes about funny golf before. Noah who? You either need to learn to drink or take up golf. Turns out Im not a good scotch drinker. My doctor told me I cant play golf. Oh, when did he play with you?. Siegfried Sassoon, Golf is the infallible test. Damn, my shaft's all bent. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. I hope you like it rough because I don't replace my divots. Because subtraction speaks louder than words. So what's it gonna be today, Stroke Play or Skins? When they reach the 9th fairway, the young man is facing a tough shot. course sometime. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. What do you call a blonde at a golf course? See photos about 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes from Golf Digest Weve all been humbled by this game and have learned that a sense of humor can be the most important club in the bag. If you dont take it seriously, its no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Why does the temperature on the course rise after a long tournament ends? Golf is about how well you accept, respond to, and score with your misses much more so than it is a game of your perfect shots. Dr. Bob Rotella, 64. At the golf corpse! If you break 80, watch your business.". Beyond this, the comedian and violinist (an epic combination) made the above joke about golf. Twelfth son of the Lama. 3 / 10. Required fields are marked *. And three, have a passion for what youre doing. Juli Inkster, 28.