husband drunk when i went into labor husband drunk when i went into labor

I spent the entire time in the hospital alone. My husband devours some of the Popeyes chicken and then comes back in and sits with me and then falls asleep. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. I feel your pain! A simple rule for when to go to the hospital for labor is the 5-1-1 rule. ! lol But overall, he was my rock through both of my labors and he never left my side, so I guess I cant complain too much. I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. Its real life, and you mustnt give up so easily. I dont want to deal with your stink and neither do the doctors and nurses! She drives me to my place, which looks surreal in the morning light. Also, per Davidson, never, ever wear open-toed shoes to the hospital. Seriously. All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? Just have a back-up plan ready so you don't need to stress about himmaybe a family member lives close by? Upon completion of said EP, he gave it to the neighbor. After Amy Lam prematurely went into labor and gave birth to their baby at home, her husband, Gilbert Kwok, thought the worst was over. My husband got into an argument with a nurse and almost got himself kicked out of the hospital. My husband said that I should be more in pain, but I convinced him that we should still go to the hospital to get it checked, and that the worst thing that could happen was to get sent home. In some cases, there are no signs. Yes, by all means continue defending your drunk husband because he's dumb and he has to drink because of his job. That's some heavy drinking. I was panting when he turned and yelled at me why cant you get to four. The midwife explained it at the hospital as the baby was born less then 30 minutes later. At the hospital he asked over and over If he could leave to go get himself dinner. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. Did you have a birth plan? Get real, people. but this isn't just within my relationships i'd say it's with friendships and working environment - REALLY envy those that have any guts to say what they feel. My husband stopped drinking the first week in April. Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this; especially at this point in your pregnancy. Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. Hoping to cure the problem. Sure, hopefully, the baby will change everything, but you still need to speak up to help him see the problem with this behavior and offer to support him as he works to change it. My husband made the list! Also I agree with a pp that it should be a conversation on the weekend or when he's realaxed and preferably sober. After a long labor and birthing a 10 lb baby naturally, my husband, told me that the room smelled like a deer was gutted in it. This was 1959, and husbands werent allowed in labor and delivery anyway. We went for a lot of walks. These are only a few of the symptoms that a person may have a problem with drinking. I complained to my husband at 3 am in the morning that I was experiencing a lot of sharp pain. This must help. Guys like you make it possible for guys like me to find great women and kids. Yeah, you know, cause he was the one up since 5 am working on pushing a 10 pound baby out of his body. Seriously, OP, the issues surrounding labour should be amongst the least of your concerns here. Mortifying. While driving my manic husband was trying to count off 4 count breaths. When they dont have a limit, they will drink more than they need to and will surely be uncontrollable. April 2011. If your husband is an alcoholic, make every effort to avoid situations that are triggers for drinking. Second, that is way to much drinking for a regular basis. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. Jaime Clark didn't feel contractions with her first baby, either. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). Damn you to hell. If I could have, I would have stood up and cheered. He will not only miss the labor, but likely years of your child's life due to alcohol related disability or death. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. The next few hours are a blur but my husband keeps having to leave to use the bathroom. Needless to say, he was NOT happy about that statement but I don't care. This went on all day. 16/12/2017 05:17. I had literally lost my mind and was threatening to unhook myself from everything and leave the hospital. 1 Answer. It was our first child. How pregnant: 41 weeks, 2 days. I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). I had been on a contraction monitor the whole time so my husband could see how much pain I was in. My doctor walked in while he was talking, looked at me still laying on the delivery bed, and told my husband he should probably take care of that later. If you liked this post, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. I hope you haven't given up on this post. Third, I would look into more long term plans on how to unwind after a long day at work. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. I went it alone and met up with him after surgery where he was holding the baby smiling, refreshed and relieved. I guess you were right. You think? I ended up wandering around the hospital and eventually bumped into him as he was on his way back in I woke DH up around 2 or so once I realized I was in labor, and he drove me 20 minutes to the hospital. According to the World Health Organisation. I watched a CSI marathon the entire time I was in labor. Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Then-deputy leader Tanya Plibersek had been considering running for Labor leader in May, 2019, but pulled out because her daughter Anna was to appear in court over ex-boyfriend's abuse. From what you've posted, your H has a serious problem. He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. Telling my sister that if we needed her, to call the house where he would be at and someone would give him a message, since he didnt think the baby would be born for quite a while. Go figure! The local McDonald's owner, Steve Akinboro, rewarded . While crawling along, my contractions got closer together and longer. That's awesome! No matter how many times this joke-cum-legend is passed off as a recent tale, nothing will . All. Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. My dear husband decides its a good idea to take a work call on the bluetooth/speakers in the car! I would also say that 5+ drinks make a person more than "buzzed." my husband decided that my induction, right as the contractions were taking off and I was getting three in a row with no break of even 3 seconds, was the BEST time possible to show my aunt an episode of Firefly. Ask the medical staff questions. Every year, nearly 9,000 women in the U.S. go into labor and, unable to make it to the hospital, have an unplanned or unattended birth at home or in the car on the way to the hospital. It will make the recovery process much easier for you both if both of you work together towards the same goal. He does not drink every night, but just a handful of times a year. . It just would not be a good situation for DH to be drunk in the delivery room. Individuals with alcoholism may have a number of behavioral and emotional characteristics, including a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. My car, my car! he said with horror. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. She just had another baby and he quit drinking 4 weeks before her due date just to be safe. 1.) When I insisted that it in fact had broken, he asked me if i was sure, and how did i know. Thanks! I don't feel bad because he should have enough respect for me not to drink for a month. Whos really stupid? He told me later he was definitely buzzed but me waking him up was the most sobering thing ever. How to Speed Up Labor After Losing Your Mucus Plug (safely) The husband was just getting off work when we found out I needed the surgery (4 weeks early with twins). And the idea that being in labor will sober up a buzzed husband is absurd, it may make him seem sober but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that he'd blow over the limit (or really close to it) on a breathalyzer test--that's a great way to get to L&D, in a police cruiser while your husband goes to the drunk tank. Check out this video to understand how to get your alcoholic spouse into treatment: Discuss the various treatment options that are available and find the best one for him so that he can get better as soon as possible. took a look and her and said he was glad it was over and that she looked like a spider monkey. Things start with a small incident and can lead to bigger uncontrollable incidences that will only bring shame to you and your family. SEARCH PARTIES. Be an advocate. He only ever left my side to grab a bite once in the cafe. He was drinking coffee, eating breakfast and taking care of the dogs because they were going to be caged up all day. Baby. Its not that hard.. Or a little bit of both? Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. My husband and I heeded the advice and packed a bunch of snacks. He finally agreed, but not until he took a shower and fixed himself breakfast! A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. Finally after I frantically run around the church for a few mins he calls back in which I tell him get all our pre packed bags and carseat ready to go Im on my way home she is in labor, we lived 4 hours from the birthmom. Luckily, my own husband was a peach! At that point I told him that if I were to go into labor and he was drunk he WOULD NOT be there for the birth of our baby. Birthing partner 101: Advice for partners and dads during labor We have the ability to maintain our rage and hide it away for just the right amount of time so it can be released with maximum effect at precisely the right time. I had a very, very fast labor (from nothing to a baby in my arms in 7 hours). I went into labor while he was sitting in the bay, alone in a boat. )My husband was engrossed by the Daytona 500. -One Funny Motha, While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says I think you should calm down. You may be in active labor if your contractions happen at least every 5 minutes, last for 1 minute each, and have been . Besides, alcoholic people need reasons to blame people for their condition. -Tifffany, My husband took so many pictures of himself in the scrubs and mask (obviously super important to document) the camera battery was almost dead when we actually had the baby! They might be useful in convincing him that he's got a pretty vital role and needs to be really present. he replied no it didnt and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. husband drunk when i went into labor. I didn't want my husband in the delivery room - Today's Parent They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. If my DH drank that much regularly and refused to stop he would be on his own. Then just before we were about to leave for the hospital, he looked at me and said, are you really going with your hair looking like that? . But, in the long run, the denial mode is not going to work at all. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. That first night, my husbands parents took him to eat a fancy steak dinner while I was stuck in the hospital eating cafeteria food and playing hostess to15 or so unannounced visitors who all showed up at the same time. We checked into the hospital at 7am, they started pitocin by 8am, and he only stepped out of the room twice (to smoke :boo:) until 8pm when E was born. If you can't reach your doctor or midwife, go to the emergency room. Second baby he was pretty good, except for when I would have a contraction (went through natural labors each time, no epidural, very little IV medication), he would look at the screen and say wow, that one went off the charts! and I would say you dont have to say that each time, Im going through it! Since our house is on the way to the hospital, we stopped to get our bags. Pack your own hospital bag. I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. Imagine youre married to an alcoholic husband who drinks daily and beyond the limit, only to create a nuisance later. So, there will be relapses in the process, but you should keep on trying. I stop on the way home to fill up the truck and he calls me back asking if I was serious or if this was just a trail run to see how fast we could get everything readyOMG its not a test this is the real deal! Nice. He took one too many wrong turns and we ended up in a dodgy end of town. Plenty of men AND women have demanding and stressful jobs and do not need to hit the bottle to deal with it on a regular nightly basis.they remain present with their partners and families, and find non-self-destructive ways to deal with stress. With our third i forgot something to wear home and baby outfits so he had to go shopping for me and lets just say men DO NOT know how to shop for women or babies!!! I laughed out loud at several of these and realized that men just want to minimize the birthing. IM IN LABOR, PEOPLE!!! Raspberry leaf tea is supposed to help with uterine contractions, reported Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond, though there's some contradictory evidence as to whether or not it . This is why it is important for you to encourage him to seek professional help for alcohol addiction treatment if he seems hesitant to do so. Im late to the party but here is a story for you If at all possible, secure a back-up. However, this may all change come December when I'm giving birth to our first child. I mean you did what she asked, right??? He told the registering nurse, my room nurse, my midwife, my doula, ANYONE who had ears our WHOLE life story. My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. Legend: Wife Seduces Husband at Halloween Party but He Switched This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking. But still no medal. My husband to me, You are loosing it. This, I really think that you need to convey how important it is to you and the baby, then make sure that he realizes how serious you are that you NEED a coach to help get you through this and if he is to drunk to do it then you will find someone else and he will be relegated to the waiting room. You'd like to get my newsletter! She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. It is mean and very insensitive to the child. I was progressing very rapidly and I was in great pain. The worst you could do is take the place of a professional and try to look for solutions to cure it. Well, setting up limits for them. 7 min read. I called my husband at work around 6 p.m. to let him know I was in labor with our first and he said hed be home to take me to the hospital as soon as he wrapped a few things up. When we finally got there and I was hooked up to all of the machines, he went downstairs and then returned with a whole pizza that he ate in front of me knowing that I couldnt eat because I was in active labor. I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. I've tried explaining this to him, but he . My FI usually has a few drinks every night too but I am not really worried about him not being able to drive to the hospital because theres tons of people around us who would be more than willing to drive me there. After like 2 hours I called to have him tell me he didnt feel good so he was taking a nap, and that he was sure I could handle our daughter on my own. The *only* reason I left the room when she was in labor was to go to the bathroom. When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. When we face problems we cannot solve, we work on someting we can. I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. I had just done the majority of the labouring at home, in silence, (Because apparently Im now a Scientologist) not wanting to bother the pissed irresponsible husband and he was a little bit tired? Fine. this was his fourth child. By the way, he would never drive while drinking, he thought it would be completely fine to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital if he's drunk. My husband was incensed and, since he was standing next to my head, diagonal from the doctor, he leaned across me and said, gritted teeth, you will get my son out of my wife without hurting him or her any further or we will OWN THIS HOSPITAL, you fucking stupid bitch. About 15 minutes or so later I hear my wife come in the house and call out to let me know she was home. When I told my boyfriend it was time to go, he said he needed to take a shower and shave. However, he also started to diet right around the same time, so I think that helped. 45 minutes later, we left the house in a crazy snowstorm. My guess is that most husbands sort of enjoy seeing their wives suffering a little bit, especially if it was the wife nagging to have the child. Of course, I couldnt, so about 9 am, I started timing my contractions and they were getting to be about 5 mins apart. I was so out of it by this point (having no pain medication at all) that I did not know my husband had helped. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. But he's probably young enough where that can all be avoided if he changes his patterns NOW. Would you trust him to drive? This happened to my friend. He never got that chance. My husband actually went back to sleep when I told him I was in laborAnd then when we were AT the hospital, The nurse kept asking him questions about how to get her son into the University he worked at while they were holding my legs. A woman seduces her husband at Halloween party and then finds out he switched costumes with someone else. Also I am not a screamer, and when the contractions were fierce like that, I would just lay on my side, tightly gripping the bed rail, sometimes whimpering quietly as I waited for it to pass. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. He hesitated and then said, I ate it all. I was so busy being in labor that I failed to notice he was munching on my all my snacks! Im sure there are a ton of great husbands/partners out there. "Put. This is not an average, it is the maximum recommended amount for any given day. Or even if it wasnt, theres still a little bit of schadenfreude involved isnt there? He is trying to lose some weight before the LO gets here. Hubbys problem is that he likes to talk. I feel so much resentment for his lack of physical and emotional support. "I'd had bad diarrhea and an irritable stomach . Someone needs to tell them it is not helpful to say things likeHere we go. and This looks like a big one.. You two need to have some serious conversations about his alcohol intake, labor or not. 28 Examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor I had a go-bag ready with food, water and phone numbers. All they could do was pace the floor in the waiting room. I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. So, instead of trying to take control of everything, just wait for them to accept that they have a problem and need help. It can vary widely. Frankly this scares me. Sept. 28, 2016. 1. God bless my daughter for sleeping/ nursing her way into this world. I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. I know what it feels like! Here are 10 ways of dealing with an alcoholic husband: Wondering how you should be dealing with an alcoholic husband? I'm currently 38+2 days pregnant and expected to go into labour anytime as this is my 4th baby. But for nearly a week, some women, including Lauren, gave birth . My water had broken at 6pm while I was at work, they wouldnt allow me to drive home and the doc said it was too early to come in so I waited over an hour for my now ex husband to pick me up. He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. He then goes home and sleeps on and off for 10 hours (in between bouts of explosive diahrrea) while Im at the hospital with our first newborn daughter, ALONE. I was in labour for almost 24 hours with my first, and my hubbys mom brought him in a HUGE meal because she was worried hed be hungry while I enjoyed a meal of ice chips. You need to have a serious talk with your DH. My husband was asleep in the chair and when they woke him up, he walked over to me and said, My foot hurts. REALLY? He was waiting for my sister to get home so that my car didnt get left in the parking lot. No seriously, it was my due date. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. However, this might not be a good decision, ever. With our second things went pretty well. He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. How long has it been since you had a drink? Based on our calculations, the due date for our first child fell during my husband's biggest meeting of the year, which involved a lot of preparation, presentations, and traveling. Your scenario of DH's drinking hits so close to home for me. This can lead to further problems such as depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal. My mom didnt kill him, just in case you wondered. Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Not Telling Husband She Went Into -Lois, I was fully dilated after 18 hours and my husband said you think you can hold out pushing until I grab some breakfast?-Sarah, My husband grew this ridiculous goatee and wore a shirt that said TOERAG on it, so he looks ridiculous in all the photos. While at the hospital, my husband (then boyfriend), wasnt allowed into the theater with me, so he decided to go watch rugby at the pub. I was having post labor contractions holding onto the counter begging him to just microwave a Mac and cheese from the freezer talking him through it. Now, I love Firefly, but I will forever associate Captain Malcolm Reynolds saying I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you with the start of the worst pain of my life. My water broke in the middle of the night, we made our way to the hospital and once we arrived i was put in a wheel chair, wheeled into the elevator and left unable to walk because of pain while my husband went to find a free parking spot. Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. OR MAYBE you've been putting it off for awhile and you're doing it because you know you need to stop procrastinating! Prodromal labor can last all day and into the night before stopping for a few hours. I've tried explaining this to him, but he really thinks he deserves to unwind however he wants since he works so hard. The birth of our child is not about him, it's about me and the baby. So when my mom showed up to help out, hes so busy talking to her that Im having to hit him in the arm every time a contraction came so he would rub my back the only thing I asked him to do (hard back labor). Bringing an extra pair of pants or a sweater might keep you more comfortable for what could be a lengthy labor. Why would you say that to me in THE THROES OF LABOR? I Tried To Induce Labor Naturally, & Here's What Actually Worked - Romper -Amber, My husband made me wait for him to finish watching Gladiator after my water broke. 26 years of marriage has taught me to make sure she is comfortable and has what she needs first and to be honest about what I need. Then, after I finally pushed my baby out (an hour and a half of pushing), he complained about being exhausted. So, do you maintain the rage? Its a natural tendency to try and take control of the alcoholic husband in order to make things right. With our third, he asked me to stretch out the pushing for 55 minutes so he would win the money pot at work. Have you ever discussed this with friends and inquired about how much their husbands drink? , Thats awesome. He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. Im sorry if you do not want to hear this but someone has got to say it instead of ignoring it. When I was in labor with our son my wife was AMAZING, a true hero. My husband told me to breathe. I had some see threw jammies to wear home >.<. . an hour later, he arrived 15 minutes before our daughter did. I was on the bouncy ball for a half hour waiting and then went to check on him. They would know that their behavior will only add trouble than solve any problem. He begrudgingly told me hed hurry. Normally, contractions begin before the water breaks. Needless to say when i got there i was 8 cm dialated and fully efaced and it was to late to even get an epidural .